Blog #1: Hope Trust Heal

Welcome to Hope Trust Heal (HTH). I know how devastating infidelity, substance abuse, or pornography addiction can be for couples and I want to help. As a licensed marriage and family therapist with many years of experience, I have seen first-hand the impact that that affairs and addiction can have on families, both professionally and in lives of people close to me. I also know, both from experience and scientific research, that couples can and do survive the aftermath of an affair and/or from addiction. There is a lot of information out there on the internet–some of it quite beneficial–but often times the information, or those providing it don’t measure up. HTH is here to bridge the information gap and help you and your partner heal.

The HTH program provides: 1) HOPE for families that relationships can be repaired after affairs and/or addictions are discovered, 2) the skills to develop TRUST after betrayals and manipulations, and, 3) the ability to not only HEAL relationships, but strengthen them. Our mission is to help you and your partner find peace, forgiveness, trust, and greater emotional closeness in your relationship.

My plan is to provide you with the most up-to-date clinical information, ideas, experience, real-life examples, and research to help you not only survive, but thrive from the aftermath of an affair, pornography addiction, or substance abuse. This initial blog is aimed specifically at aiding couples recover from infidelity. While I do not take a particular religious stance, nor do I necessarily gear this toward heterosexual or same-sex couples, I do believe that reconciliation is not only possible for those affected by affairs and addictions, but also that stronger marriages/partnerships can emerge from the ashes. Throughout the blog, I use the terms “partners” and “spouses” interchangeably to indicate a recognized commitment between two people. Whether you are married or not, Hope Trust Heal is ideal for couples who are committed to working on their marriage and healing together. The HTH infidelity program consists of a blog that addresses the relevant issues necessary to healing. In the future I will also be offering free webinars that will guide you through the recovery process. I also hope to develop an app that will help build trust–so stay tuned.

Now that you know about HTH and its purpose, you should know a few details about me, Jessica Top Simons. I am the wife of a soldier. We have been married for 21 years and have 7 children together. While maybe not a professional merit, it is my greatest accomplishment. I know firsthand that marriage is incredibly challenging at times, that there are many things that require patience and forgiveness, and I also know that long-term relationships can be amazing and worth the hard work. I believe in marriage and I believe in families. Because of that, went back to school in my thirties to receive a Master’s Degree in family therapy from Northcentral University, and eventually became a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I first worked in a private practice in Seoul, South Korea at Adaptable Human Solutions. This was an incredible opportunity to work with people from all over the world. I have my own private practice and I am currently working toward my Ph.D. from University of Louisiana at Monroe.

I have also enlisted the help of two of my colleagues to create HTH. Dr. Bill Northey, LMFT has over 30 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist and supervisor. He has provided thousands of hours of training and supervision to clinicians in a variety of clinical settings and is the Co-Founder of the Centers for Children in Families in Delaware (http://www.bellefontefamilies.com/ and http://kent-sussexfamilies.com/). Dr. Northey serves as content matter expert and technology consultant as we embark on the HTH adventure. Dr. Northey has a Master’s Degree and PhD in marriage and family therapy from the University of Maryland and Kansas State University, respectively. Brandon Lyons, who is also working on his doctoral degree in marriage and family therapy, is our technology guru, in addition to helping develop the content for HTH. Brandon received his Master’s Degree in marriage and family therapy at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and lives in Lincoln with his beautiful wife and son.

DISCLAIMER: Throughout the blog I will be sharing stories to illustrate points and bring understanding to different aspects of infidelity. Client confidentiality is of utmost importance to me. For that reason, I have changed many details, brought in stories of friends and acquaintances, AND combined more than one account to make a composite experience. Many stories of infidelity and the experience surrounding it are very similar from person to person, but no one story used in this blog can be attributed solely to a single client.